thinking

It's funny how sometimes I don't act as I think. I wish I could disappear into the time when I didn't overthink everything that I do. A time when I was naive and believed everything I heard. It was bliss.......but growing up and dealing with life on lifes terms is also a new way to go. I have a hard time letting go of people, places and things.

It's almost impossible if you have ever loved them. I love deeply, and romance passionately. I also act out innappropriately and my adolescence behavior overcomes me when sometimes I need to just be still. But by being still am I accepting more than I should? When speaking up and I creating even more damage? Especially when I speak up, ask questions and get hard truths I never want to accept.


Went out to dinner with MT and Justin last night, and saw MT again this afternoon. I asked the questions- he gave the answers. Can't say much more than that- but the answers were as plain as day...with alot of haze in between. Can't let go, can't hang on. I can only love...and take contrary actions if I feel funny.